Laugh Your Head Off 4 Ever by Various

Author:Various
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781760783464
Publisher: Pan Macmillan Australia

Spring had sprung. The Feral Fairies had been hibernating for three months and now began to stir. They muttered, cursed, rolled over, scratched their bellies and fell back to sleep. Lazy blobs.

’Twas the Dewdrop Fairy who shook them fully from their slumber. She flitted through the air above Foggarty’s Field, singing joyfully:

‘Come hither and thither

Ye fairies and critters

The spring is a’flowing

The new grass a’growing

Oh, come one and all

Into the bright day

Stretch winter-tired arms

Look skyward and say—’

‘SHUT UP YOU LOUD-MOUTHED, SMART-ALEC, BUTT-UGLY FAIRY!’ yelled Bob, staggering out into the sunshine. He grabbed a piece of rabbit poo and pelted it at the Dewdrop Fairy, hitting her right between the eyes. She plummeted to the ground where she disappeared into a clump of clover.

‘Spring my fat bum!’ grumbled Kev.

‘Oh, look!’ cried Darren. ‘She dropped something as she fell.’ He picked up a small white envelope with a single word written in large, loopy writing.

‘Rooster?’ cried Kev. ‘There’s no rooster living here.’

Darren slapped his forehead and rolled his eyes. ‘Roster, you butter brain! It says “Roster”. The Council of Fairies has sent us our list of duties for the spring.’

‘I hate the roster!’ moaned Bob. He flopped down on a tuft of grass and picked some wax from his ear. ‘All that work to be done. And for what? Just so a few dumb animals and kiddies can have a cushy time of it all. What about me? Where’s my guardian fairy? Who’s going to take care of my needs for the season?’

Darren read the roster.

He scratched his bottom.

He frowned.

And then he let out a string of curses.

For the Council of Fairies had declared that the Feral Fairies of Foggarty’s Field were a disgrace to the fairy world. Henceforth—that’s fairy-talk for ‘from now on’—they would be supervised by kinder, more responsible fairies. Ones who did not swear, hit, steal, stink, belch or turn poo into missiles.

‘Huh,’ said Kev, surprisingly calm about the news. ‘Easy peasy. Takes the pressure off. Less work for us. How hard can it be, helping one of those prissy little fairies?’

Hmmm. Famous last words . . . Feral Fairy words.

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